I took 19 credits this quarter, which I have been able to manage quite well. I have A’s in all three classes, though I predict I’ll end up trading one of those A’s for a B.

During a moment of introspection, I found that I just don’t have it in me to always satisfy the demands or temperamental wants of professors. I have come to terms with being okay with just doing what is required to pass the class and learn the content.

I wish I had reached this conclusion sooner, or I wouldn’t be so burnt out that even my favorite class of all time, Math 146, Statistics 101, no longer brings excitement to me like it did weeks prior.

I am burnt out.

I asked ChatGPT if it is normal to feel burnout after a single quarter of classes, and it responded with a yes.

It also laid out the signs…

Signs of Burnout:

1. Physical and Mental Exhaustion: Feeling constantly tired, lacking energy, and experiencing difficulty in focusing or staying motivated.
2. Decreased Performance: Noticing a decline in academic performance or struggling with tasks that were previously manageable.
3. Irritability and Frustration: Feeling more irritable, frustrated, or overwhelmed than usual.
4. Lack of Motivation: Finding it hard to start or complete tasks and losing interest in your studies.
5. Negative Feelings: Experiencing increased feelings of stress, anxiety, or hopelessness.

I checked off every one of them even though I have changed my routine from commuting to campus every morning to commuting to the park for a 30-minute walk each morning to get the blood pumping and flowing throughout my body. I still find myself burnt out.

I even had nights where I managed 8 hours of sleep instead of the usual 6 or 7 hours, and even though I felt better, my interest in my subjects has been nonexistent.

The content itself is fine and even of interest to my palate.

Still, I find myself waiting until the last minute to do the work, even though it gets done and the grades are good.

At times I found myself wondering if I was taking the right action, if I was on the right degree path that is.

Where Things Went Wrong

As mentioned, it took me a while to learn the lesson of being okay with just passing some classes while excelling in others. The one class that taught me this lesson the most is my philosophy class.

It is now known I have anxiety, and if you have read any of my other articles, you might have read about it along with how my classes have been going.

My philosophy class has been more challenging than I care to admit. Going into it, I knew the professor had a low rating on Rate My Professor. What I didn’t know was that he could be very temperamental, even through an online class.

Take someone with a dysregulated nervous system and throw them into his class, and what you get is someone worried they are going to fail or do something wrong each time they post their homework discussion.

What made matters worse is that students were told that if he likes a post, we should look to emulate it. We have noticed that if he doesn’t like our post, we either get an anxiety-inducing remark or no feedback. I am okay with the latter!

Also it’s important to note that with the rise of A.I –  a great percentage of students use it to feed their responses on the discussion board. These are often the posts he likes and wants us to emulate, which makes it hard to do without compromising academic integrity.

Subconsciously, I found myself switching from internal validation to external validation in his class, and this has led to where I am now—burnout.

An Introspective Insight

Growing up in an environment rife with turmoil and temperaments that bred the ground for my severe anxiety diagnosis, I think I found myself subconsciously trying to please my professor to avoid his remarks.

This is something I will have to be more aware of moving forward, as there will always be different personality types in the academic setting teaching courses that students need for degree requirements.

Knowing when I am triggered or moving from internal validation to external will be key to reducing the potential for burnout – as this has more to do with me than him or another professor in the future.

How I Plan to Mitigate the Feeling of Burnout

Grace.

That is what I will give myself moving forward.

I will give myself permission to step back from a class and do what is needed to pass.

This does not mean I will do the bare minimum to pass with a ‘C’, but it means being okay if that is the grade I end up with after putting my best foot forward.

I am going back to internal validation, where I get excited about learning and understanding new concepts over external validation from professors and grades.

One Last Message Before Signing Off

This professor isn’t the worst professor ever. Those with regulated nervous systems could very well excel in his class or even those who thrive off external validation.

It’s important for students to find out what works best for them. For me, I have the personality type that is introverted (INFJ), and I find internal validation works best for me.

That along with a dysregulated nervous system, I do better when I am focused on what matters most to me rather than what matters most to another person in this context. 

I find becoming the best version of myself while putting my best foot forward in all that I do to the best of my ability allows me to fire on all cylinders.

What strategies have you found effective in maintaining internal validation? Share your thoughts in the comments below.