There’s a problem that many of us in the first world have, especially for those of us who live in America, and that is the false illusion that things are supposed to be a certain way from ground up no matter where we are in our financial stability stage.
What I mean by that is, when it comes to us financially, many of us fall into the trap of thinking our lives have to look and fit a specific, cookie-cutter picture even if it doesn’t fit our personal circumstances.
For example…
Last year, a family member who has struggled financially for some time had bought a new dining room table that needed to be replaced. Months later we were having another discussion over the phone.
They had just purchased some new chairs and told me they could have bought two chairs for $50, or they could get four chairs for $80. So, they got the four chairs.
The conversation went like this.
“And I found a great deal on chairs.”
“But don’t you have some decent chairs already?”
“Yeah, but two of them are on their last legs and I want the chairs to match the table and I got this really great deal where I could have bought two chairs for $50 or four chairs for $80.”
“Yeah, but you don’t really have much company, and you have plenty of other seating for when you do have close loved ones over plus the other two chairs that are fine should be good.”
“But I want the chairs and the table to look nice so now that if people come over it looks nicer.”
At the end of the conversation they were still convinced the chairs were a good deal because they got the other two for $15 a piece But they spent an extra $30, and the two extra chairs are rarely ever used till this day.
If you didn’t notice, there are two problems here: they overspent where it didn’t make sense. They don’t need that many chairs; it doesn’t matter how good of a deal it is.
Two chairs in the present time while trying to figure out financial difficulties would have made better sense and financial sense because it’s just them and their spouse. No one else comes over for breakfast, lunch, or dinner except the occasional visit from grandchildren.
The second problem is the false illusion that things have to look a certain way. They got a new dining room table, but their old chairs didn’t look the best for the table. For some people, that really bothers them, so they’ll spend extra money to make everything match.
The thing is, that’s okay when you are where you want to be financially. But when you’re trying to become financially stable and build security, these things cannot matter to you because there’s always going to be that one aesthetic thing you want to make better.
Learn When You Should Spend Money on Aesthetics
For example, for the longest time, I had mismatched blankets that I used to sleep with. I had a pirate blanket from when my teenager was a kid, a black comforter, a Halloween blanket, and Christmas blanket from over the years. All these blankets were in great condition and they were fine for sleeping.
It wasn’t until last year that I bought myself a nice matching bed set. And it wasn’t even a set—I bought everything separately to save money. I bought a blue blanket to go under a blue comforter that I bought that day, and then I bought some sheets and pillowcases – and best believe I was looking at prices and comparing them to sets.
I did the same for my son because he had blankets that were 10 years old, really well used from his childhood, with marker and food stains. I haven’t bought any more blankets since then for neither us, however, I have replaced our pillows because they were getting really flat.
We only did this shopping trip last year because we knew we could and we weren’t hurting financially. The investments were growing, I had a nice savings account, and it was the right thing for us to do.
There’s a difference between when you should care about these things and when you shouldn’t.
Understand That What You Own Materially Shouldn’t Matter More Than Your Personal Balance Sheet
Going back to the chairs, Devil’s Advocate, I get it—you want to have a family table, right? A nice big dining room table with four chairs on each side for potential family gatherings so everyone can sit together. I get it.
However, oftentimes, when we try to keep a certain picture alive, we fall into the financial trap of struggling because, at the end of the day, we forget that these things can come, but it takes time to get to that picture of what you want your life to look like.
Understand it’s not just about the chairs. It’s more about the habits and mentality behind the chairs and the table than the chairs themselves.
The thinking has become backwards. We focus more on the things that we own versus the finances that can get us those things. A finance mentor put it best: too many people focus on the leaves rather than the roots. They focus on what someone has and what they can have, rather than the roots that can get them those things.
For example, they don’t see that the person who owns a nice home might have a portfolio of real estate that allows them to afford that home. Or they don’t see the nice savings account a couple has, which enables them to purchase a great TV with the latest technology on Black Friday for $600 because they have $10,000 saved up, and all other bills are paid.
The couple had put focus on their balance sheet before focusing on the material things.
The reason why I’m writing this is that it’s been helpful in my own mindset. When I wanted something nice in my apartment a while back, a kitchen breakfast nook table, it was beautiful, aesthetically pleasing, I ran through a check list. First off, I don’t even have the space.
Second, this isn’t the place I really want to settle down in, and I don’t want to move all that stuff when I do. By the time I get to the place I want to be, in terms of owning a home, I might not even want that table.
For me, it makes sense not to get it. Plus, we don’t really eat breakfast, so there are many reasons against getting it versus just liking the idea of it and the cost is not worth giving up what could turn into thousands of dollars for my household down the road when I am in the place I want to settle in and decorate to my own liking.
So again, understand that it wasn’t necessarily about the chairs themselves.
I get that wanting a nice place for guests to come over makes sense, but when it comes to understanding your own financial stability and prioritizing financial wellness, it’s important to run through a checklist and ask yourself: Does this make sense in this moment?
No matter how great a deal something might seem, it’s important to ask yourself if it makes sense right now. Zoom out and consider: Will this decision pay off in 5 years?
Will it still make sense in 5 years from now?
Sometimes short-term decisions do make sense and don’t need to last for 5 years, even then, having this mindset has helped me look at things from a delayed gratification perspective rather than seeking short-term gratification, and it has made life all the better.
The Broke College Student 
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