I made a carrot, potato, celery, green onion, yellow onion, and garlic soup with a tablespoon of butter, Italian seasonings, spices, and a couple of bay leaves for dinner tonight after spending the day at the library going over Anki cards for my Fundamentals of Research exam in Psychology. I completed 302 cards in 1.02 hours, finishing the last 11 on the bus ride home.
It was interesting to see just how much I was able to recall by the end of the day, and tomorrow I will be adding more cards to Anki so I can go over them. It needs to be consistent so I don’t forget this month’s material next month when I am in the thick of it
I didn’t have class today, so stepping onto campus was purely a choice of mine as I wanted to be close to my former advisor and dear friend. Also, I hadn’t been on campus since the news of her passing, so I wanted to rip the band-aid off and walk near her office building because tomorrow I do have an in-person class and will have to go by her office building through no choice of my own.
Surprisingly, it went well, and it wasn’t as hard to do, perhaps because we knew she had been sick, and since classes had started, she hadn’t been on campus. So hearing the news of her passing wasn’t hard in terms of not seeing her on campus, but more so that she won’t be here in physical form to see me graduate or finish what we started. However, I know that she will be happy to know that I have taken the steps I needed to transfer over to the University of Washington campus near me, which is where she had always wanted me to be since I returned to school.
I miss her so much, and it will be a bittersweet day when I leave this campus for the final time and start anew at the University. I believe she used to teach a couple of classes there if I’m not mistaken, and at one point, she had hoped to go with me to explore it. But I know her presence will be felt throughout the rest of my college experience and journey of being a student. It makes it a bit easier knowing that, even though by now I would have updated her on my classes and how things are going, that has been the hard part. She has been a big part of this.
Being at the library today felt like a piece of home, and I was able to explore the library corridors and find a couple of her old issues of Una Voce, the student magazine she advised, where she helped guide faculty decisions for the student papers.
There was a picture of her that I had never seen, so that was nice. It’s nice to know that even though she is no longer here, she has left parts of herself embedded in the campus for new generations of students.
It is comforting to know that if I ever feel nostalgic, I can go back and visit the campus and find a piece of her there, even if her office is no longer around.
Before I forget, I want to share the video I took before heading up the steps past her office and toward the student center and library. I regret not taking any pictures of her office space, as it was very inviting, and being a natural reader driven by curiosity, I always imagined my own office space filled with meaningful works just like hers.
To the right of the steps is her office building. She was on the other side, and to the right of that is the building where I attend in-person classes, which is where her old office was when I first met her.
Again, it will be bittersweet when I step foot on this campus for the final time. It’s not hard now, but I suppose if I weren’t graduating soon, the weight of her absence would eventually become heavy.
This pretty much sums up my day, other than the fact that the teenager was with me. I snapped a quick picture of him sitting opposite of me, studying his homeschool program. We had stopped by the student bookstore and bought some Fairlife strawberry milks, a small bag of cheddar and sour cream Ruffles for me, and a small bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos for him before we ventured over to the library, dashed to our favorite table that has an outlet, and locked in for a couple of hours.
While cooking, I had this song playing in the background of the kitchen. It’s been a while since I played music while cooking.
There was a time when I had Andrea Bocelli as an honorable guest in our home frequently, along with other opera singers and concertos.
Maybe it’s time I get back to that.
Until next time, thanks for reading.
Update: Warm blueberry muffins were also made tonight.
You can see we already enjoyed some of them, some with butter and some without. Earlier, I had a nice helping of chocolates—Ferrero Rocher, to be exact.
Who knew that chocolate and warm muffins could be such a comforting part of the grieving process of not being able to wake up from what feels like a bad dream?
Still, to hurt like this is to say I had the privilege to truly love and be loved by someone. For that, I am forever grateful.
The Broke College Student 
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