Last night, I stayed up talking to a friend until two o’clock in the morning. She was opening up about a situation she was in, and I was sharing something I’d recently experienced. We got to talking about what we want in partnerships, and how we see our future.
One thing I didn’t bring up, but I should have, is that for me, love is always going to be summed up in three words: cold lamb sandwiches. Years ago, I read an article on one of my favorite finance websites by the author Joshua Kennon. He talked about cold lamb sandwiches, how do you know you’ve found the love of your life?
He said it’s when you could lose everything, your reputation, your finances, your home, but you know that as long as you’re with them, everything’s okay. It’s when you want their happiness… almost more than your own.
And he tied it back to the movie Meet Joe Black. There’s a scene with William Parrish, where he’s talking to Death, played by Brad Pitt. And he talks about how his wife got him into cold lamb sandwiches, how lamb isn’t as chewy as roast beef or as boring as chicken. She just knew things like that.
For me, that’s what love is. That’s what I’ve always felt partnership should be.
It’s when that person adds more to your life than they subtract. It’s the little things, when they notice, when they remember, when they pay attention to what matters to you.
If someone’s adding more than they’re taking away, there’s a good chance you’re on the right path. To me, love is about the moment you start to notice the details. You begin to appreciate how they wear their hair. How they take care of themselves. How they get flustered.
You see them get upset, and all you want to do is let them be who they are, but step in when they need you. It’s knowing how to hold space for them without crowding them. It’s their point of view in life. It’s letting them be brave in the ways they naturally are. It’s knowing that even if you don’t agree on everything, your core values and beliefs still align.
It’s also the moment when you start to anticipate their needs. You notice what flusters them, what throws them off. You can just look at their face and know it wasn’t a good day at work.
There’s a moment in Meet Joe Black when Death asks William Parrish, “Tell me about the first time you saw her.” and he recounts what she was wearing.
That, to me, is love.
It’s being able to hold someone, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and yes, financially.
It’s knowing they’d do the same for you. It’s knowing they want your happiness as much as they want their own. That they want things for you as much as they want them for themselves. That they see and appreciate the little things you do.
It’s when the two of you can look at each other and just know: you both need a break from the world. It’s knowing when it’s time to get away. It’s knowing that they are who they are. That they come with their own perspective in life, but they balance out yours just as you do theirs.
For me, it might mean I’m someone who’s financially focused. They might be a little less focused on money, but they’re still willing to build. They’re still investing, still taking care of their finances.
Only they might be more willing to say, “Hey, you saved a lot. We have money in savings. We have money in investments. We can afford to take this trip. You took care of that… so let me take care of this.”
It’s being able to balance life with each other. Similar to how, back then, one partner might have worked while the other took care of the home.
But in our case, maybe we’re both working. We’re both contributing financially. Only that I might be more of the planner, because I love it. I love diving into investment books and balance sheets.
They might not like that part.
They might want to just save and invest, but be more hands-off. And I might be like, “I think we should buy this company. I think we should invest in this. I think we should put this much back.”
And they might say, “I think we should take this trip. I think we should put this much money into the experience.”
And me, knowing how I am, how I can get flustered with the unknown because of where I come from, I know I need someone who can pull me out of that side of me. Someone who can bring me back to center.
And it’s the same with them. Maybe they’re a little more willing to spend and not think about the future as much. That’s where I step in.
I help them become more financially secure, more financially focused. But I also respect who they are.
It means I understand that it’s important to them to have money for experiences, for the present, not just for the future. Instead of saying, “Be just like me,” I say, “I see you. Let’s meet in the middle.”
And it’s the same with them. That, to me, is partnership.
That’s what love is.
It’s letting someone be who they are while still building something together. Being able to meet in the center, the majority of the time.
I believe some values should be aligned. Like, for me, I do believe religion and certain values should be in sync. I’m very spiritual. I believe in a higher power, but I am not religious.
But I also know I wouldn’t date someone who believes in certain things I don’t, because that would cause conflict down the road.
But if we’re both spiritual, and we just approach that differently, if they add something to my spirituality without forcing theirs on me, that’s different. That’s beautiful.
It’s like how I try to be plant-based as much as I can. If they’re more plant-based than I am, there’s a chance I’ll naturally lean more in that direction over time. Because they add to my life, just like I’d add to theirs.
And it doesn’t mean you have to choose either-or. It’s realizing what matters, because like Joshua Kennon says, these are the main things you want to have when you need them.
How do you know you’ve met the love of your life?
If you have, you don’t need this list. If you haven’t, there are four signs:
- No matter where you are, as long as you are with them, you feel like you are home.
- If you lost everything – your house, job, savings, investments, reputation, career, credentials, family, friends, and pets – but you still had them on your side, you know deep down that it will be alright.
- You care as much, if not more, about their happiness and contentment as you do your own.
- He or she feels the same way about you.
— @Joshua Kennon
You can read his article below
I guess it’s kind of like its own assortative mating, but not on an income or degree level.
It’s knowing they bring their own wisdom.
Even though I’ve had to self-educate for a long time, and I’m just now entering higher education, they might not have a degree. They might not have the highest income. I might be the breadwinner.
But I still know where they add value. And I know that I add value to their life differently than they add value to mine. It doesn’t have to look the same. It doesn’t have to be tit-for-tat. It doesn’t have to be the same price tag on a gift. It’s understanding their love language, and mine, over time.
It’s knowing that even if I think Valentine’s Day is cheesy, if it matters to them, it matters to me. And it should be the same. If it’s important to me, it should be important to them.
That, to me, is what love is.
It’s Safe. Kind. Nurturing. And Brilliant.
You Don’t Have to Choose Between Wealth and Love
Sometimes it feels like the world wants you to pick:
The rich person or the kind person
The planner or the lover
Freedom or romance
But that’s a false choice. You don’t have to settle for half of what you want.
There are people out there, even if rare, who believe in:
Shared values
Emotional safety
Financial trust
Playful love
Mutual vision
Quiet mornings with coffee and compound interest
Not the performative Instagram kind.
Not the white kitchen and silent resentment kind.
The real kind:
Where someone tracks their net worth and cries over poetry
Where they shop thrift stores and talk about dividends
Where they want a healthy body and a soft place to land emotionally
Where they believe in old-school loyalty but dream in spreadsheets and plane tickets
Where they don’t just consume life with you, they craft it with you
So if you haven’t found your person yet, it’s not because you’re too much. It’s because you’re holding out for what’s true.
To wrap up, this song captures the very essence of what I’ve shared here based on my own take on what love is… being the supportive space for those you hold dear in your arms, even during moments of uncertainty, doubt, and fear.
This blog is read in 50+ countries (and counting). If you’re a student, teacher, or lifelong learner from anywhere in the world, I’m honored you’re here. Economics belongs to all of us.
The Broke College Student 
Leave a comment